UNWANTED KARAOKE ENTERTAINMENT
James Patterson my best writer…Alex Cross the best fictional work of art that Patterson brings about. That is what keeps me busy when am wheeled to work by the 44 matatus which always..Okay most of the time drift from the main road and use the wrong side road as their one way heading to town. They really do consider some of us who lazy around when it comes to waking up. But then again it’s never that serious considering its my life on the risk here and am hardly armed with my safety belt…like there is anyone who ties the belts in public service vehicles anyway. Okay let me get back to my point.
So am in the matatu listening to fareed’s rude wakening show on Xfm while reading a Patterson book. The station switched on in the matatu is way too loud …the hosts arguing with each other trying to spice up their show that actually bores me to death but that’s me being me. I tune up the volume to my radio my apparently the matatu which has this loud speaker is way too much competition for my china phone radio. So instead of wasting my battery I ‘unplug’ the earphones which were deeply inserted into my ears.
‘The music is not so bad’ I thought to myself’ Considering it was soul music which I would dance to once in a while.’
James Patterson was working his magic in absencia because of the frenzied fast paces book I was reading ‘ALONG CAME A SPIDER.’
The bad voice the squeaking sound that was not melodious at all was all I could here. Some woman seated behind me singing along to ‘eye of a tiger’ by’ survivor’ I thought she would stop singing once the chorus was over but apparently she had her homework done. The lady had all the words to her fingertips.
“SOMEBODY MAKE HER STOP!!!!!” I screamed in my head.
Me being not courageous enough to blurt out to her… I just turned my head and gave her a look(which my friends always told me scared strangers to death… a look full of intimidation) which I thought would make her shut up. I bore my eyes into hers ensured the were so screwed inside hers. With that look no one would dare mess with me. I smiled inwardly knowing that it had actually worked.
I slowly turned my head and went back to reading.
Oh no! Oh no! There she went again now doing a karaoke of Whitney’s ‘try it on my own’
I felt like throwing the book down and pouncing on her with my long well filed nails. No one seemed to be bothered by her. It was as if everyone was used to traveling with such kind.
I could not take it anymore if I was a light person am sure I would have now turned pink. Am sure if you were there you would be having the same sentiments just like I was.
With all the modesty and politeness that my mother taught me, I turned behind trying hard not to snap.
‘Tafadhali imba Kwa sauti ya chini,’
I felt like taking back my words. I was thinking to myself that that was actually way too polite. I crossed my fingers hoping that she would actually listen to me. I continued to flip through the pages. I was now entangled and way into the adventures of Alex cross.
Then I heard it one of my favorite songs by ray Charles ‘hit the road jerk’ good stuff. I nodded my head rhythmically. Then I heard the karaoke woman again…I felt like crying I felt like screaming at her. I loved this particular song and all she did was to spoil it again. I could not believe that even after being polite she continued to squeak (her singing was not singing) she had this high pitched soprano that sounded like a bunch of mosquitoes.
Then it hit me. Since I loved the song too and the woman was actually being a bore…. I grabbed my earphones squeezed them inside my ears and switched to the same station…but it took time since I was not sure of the frequency. Then there it was.
I loudly sang along to ray Charles’s song. As they say it ‘if you can’t beat them join them.’ I knew the lyrics to the whole song. I sang melodiously and actually harmonized to some of the parts I thought my harmony would fit. I felt good about myself. At some point would even close my eyes due to the sweetness and the rush of victory that ran inside me.
I could see some people stare at me but I cared less. Then the stares became many. Some stared angrily while some smiled. I assumed them and continued to sing since I knew that the woman behind me was singing too. I had to give her a taste of her own medicine or so I thought.
I removed one of the earphones to listen if my competitor could sing as well as I did. That is when I realized that the driver had switched off the radio since someone in the front seat was receiving a call. I was the only one singing in the matatu and am sure since my earphones were plugged way inside my ears and no one would hear the music…I was not as melodious as I thought I was. I tried to put on a straight face. But all I could feel was embarrassed.
Thank God the next stop was mine. I alighted the matatu hurriedly. I could feel sweat dripping all over my armpits. My oily face was now shinning well polished toughees had nothing on it. I felt embarrassed and all I hoped for was that I never get into the same matatu with the same passengers ever.