PREACH PREACHER!
I just couldn’t wait for 5pm,I hated the traffic on Thika road you would think that the president was passing to head to his home in Muthaiga or some Kenyatta university students had taken the strike way serious and occupied the whole of Thika road stretch from Utalii to K.U J, but something that always motivated me was that I would just get into a route 44 matatu ‘nganya’ to be precise ,overlapping nayo? Wacha tu!! I hurriedly pushed my way through people in the streets along Moi avenue, my heels were killing me but since I had to maintain my ‘ka style’ I had to withstand the pain and the heat inside the leathers.  I always want to have something to eat in the matatu a snack like this, mabuyu being my favorite. After I was done with Tuskys and the hustle of queuing, I rushed outside ready to get a matatu.


Everyone who takes a route 44 matatu knows clearly that the level of civilization of getting into the matatus is way to low and you must be a rugby fun or a rugby player to know the tactics of handling the civilians there. Sadly on this particular day everyone was just staring at each other since there were no matatu’s, it took a whole hour for the first matatu to arrive,one of my worst rides home,A BUS!. I hated them but I had no choice, it was getting late and my comfort was not to be valued by my body .I got myself a nice seat, got out a Mary Higgins Clark novel and my mabuyu, braced myself for a wonderful ride no matter how stuffy the bus was.
‘Kwa majina ni pastor Konje, Bwana leo amenituma ni nene na wana wake niwaeleze jinsi anavyo wapenda na jinsi…’ 
What the!!!!!!!! A preacher in the bus, no this was not happening. He was standing just next to me, and unfortunately on that day I had not carried my earphones, there was no way I could block my ears. My eyes were all popped out, if I was brown or better yet if ‘ningekua na rangi ya thao’ I would have now resembled a red Indian, so instead, I think I was turning purple or indigo, what color do black people tan when they react to such episodes? ‘SMH’.  Anyway everyone else in the bus did not look as pissed as I was.


Don’t get me wrong I love to listen to preachings, but just not on this particular day. I was dead tired, and Konje was all energetic, expressing himself with his limbs being thrown here and there. I really wanted to concentrate on this novel, it always relaxed me to read a book in the evening but on this particular day I would not get that satisfaction of relaxing. So I just returned the book in my handbag, and continued to eat my mabuyus. Konje was now not a bother as I had switched my mind to fantasy world, you know thinking how I would make it big as a writer ,a musician get a perfect husband, children..Yeah that’s just a part of my fantasy world J. As I was building castles I had the guy sited next to me tap my shoulders so hard.


‘Madam unaongeleshwa,’ he said with a smile on his face. I actually thought that it was the conductor who wanted to get his due.  As I was reaching for my purse he tapped me again.
‘Pastor anakuita!’ he said this time with concern on his face.
 I lifted my head and looked at Konje who was eager to say something that seemed important. With all the ghetto and luck of courtesy in me I looked at him and shouted,
‘sema unadai?’
‘Madam Mungu amenionyesha ya kwamba unapitia shida nyingi kwa maisha yako na ananiambia unahitaji maombi,’
Wow,great!! This is not happening, at first I thought it was a dream I pinched myself, oh yes am so awake, everyone in the bus was looking at me as though I was an outcast. It got me wondering what the pastor had been preaching about, because it seemed to have put everyone in a zombie mood. I wondered whether to laugh cry or crouch under my chair…. So I looked up at the pastor and gave him that look of, ‘please continue what you are saying.’


‘Umekua na shida ya kutafuta kazi na bwana, Mungu ananiambia ya kwamba usiwe na shaka. Nataka tu usongee hapa karibu tuombe pamoja,na ninajua utabarikiwa na pia wewe utanibariki…”
Nitakubariki!!!! Was the word that caught my attention! ‘Is this guy for real?’ he wanted money, and what gave away that I was looking for a job and a husband. Those are things that people often want and pray for. I gambled with my thoughts wondering what to do since everyone else was so eager to see my reaction. I knew for sure that I would not go to be prayed for, so I thought of a strategy. There got it!!’Act stupid and be a snob.’


Little did I know that my snubbing had sparked the wrong nerve. ‘Oh my! Oh my!’Konje began to speak in tongues and pray so loudly that you would think he was casting demons out of me. Hey if he was praying for me to get a job and a ‘husband’ he did not have to be so energetic with his prayers you would think that his life was on the line if he did not pray for me.
‘Huyu msichana unajua yale yanamsumbua,shetani na pepo za kutoskia neon  lako baba naomba zikemewe,pepo ya kuringa ishindwe pepo ya….!!!!’
PEPO TENA!!!! Of all people in the matatu, he picked on me, did I look that vulnerable, or was it because I was not concentrating? I felt humiliated as everyone chorused the word YES after every line of prayer he uttered. We had just reached Alsops and I knew that it would get worse if I did not get out of the matatu. It felt so weird. ‘I should have never entered a bus,’ I muttered to myself.
I quickly grabbed my handbag and paved my way to the door and gave the conductor his money.


‘Ebu nishukishe hapa!’ I said loudly with a choke of tear in my voice.
‘Madam hufiki west kwani?’ the conductorasked as he smiled at me, he knew I was pissed but at the same time am sure he did not understand why I took the preachers prayer so personally.
‘Weee wacha nishuke kwani ni kwako naenda!!!’
‘ahhh sawa acha kisirani basi,SHUKA!’ he shouted back.


The bus stopped, I quickly jumped out only to trip and fall on my face!!! ‘COULD THIS GET ANY WORSE!!!! That did not stop me from rushing as fast as possible to the nearest shop and try to compose myself, occupy my mind and register the events of that hour.
Buses never ever!!!!!! Ata ikue cheap aje!! STOOOOORRRYY!!!! Siwes mek!

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