‘PLATONIC QUICK SAND’
Every time I decide to write down something whether on twitter, face book or in my blog there usually must be something that has happened to me in my past or maybe even still happening. I know this particular article may sound lame or cliché but I had to write it because whenever I write I get overwhelmed with this feeling of satisfaction. This particular article is very personal, just saying.
Over and over most people around me kept telling me that I have so many friends and that am good with people, you know ‘people’s person’. I have over nine hundred friends on face book and I at least know like two hundred. I have friends all over in church, at my work place, where I live, I mean I always have people to always talk to every time, at times my ‘kabambe’ stops to function due to the phonebook load. After a long time of having this train of friends I came to realize one thing ‘a heart can always discover what it wants through experience’.
Our lives are the sum total of our experiences, but it is not only the experiences it is also the people not just in our lives but those who play through. It is never an easy road to get to discoveries such as this. In the recent past I have been hurt by people I love, people I even considered as family, but am happy I get the opportunity to have my eyes opened before it is not too late. I don’t want to point any fingers to anyone or try to make some people wonder whether they are in that category of ‘friends’ who hurt me. What happens in the past can never be changed but what happens next can be changed.
I had to go back to my Oxford advanced dictionary for the definition of two particular words: Acquaintance – a person that you know but who is not a close friend. Friend-a person you know well and like, who is not a member of your family. These two words still get me confused but I am still learning.
The society we live in overrates this term ‘friend’ and here is where I rant, just because I hang out with you, maybe get to text you a few times share some issues with you does not mean we are all ‘buddie buddie, you know real close friends’
Something people do not understand about me is that I am an open book, am never scared to share my problems with people, am very friendly and most people mistake that I have put them in this separate docket, that they are ‘real close friends’. Am writing this with a lot of bitterness because of a couple of incidents that happened lately when I came to learn-rather painfully- that I have ‘very few ‘real friends, three of whom live many miles from me (sad huh?) What other people are to me is ‘acquaintances’ this does not mean that they don’t mean anything to me, of course they mean something to me, it is just that I can not rely on them. It is a good thing to have very few friends, what made, me sad back then was that I had my head convinced that I am a ‘people’s person’ and that betrayal was a thing out of this world amongst my circle of friends, naïve huh?
As much as I am an open book very few people close to me understand my emotions and would not try to rub it in whenever they know am wrong but find ways of correcting me, what are friends for if they can not correct you that is without embarrassing you. Have you ever had those friends who are ‘all too much talk’ I was that friend to many people. Always trying to make everyone comfortable telling them how much they mean to me, even going to an extent of making them believe that they are like sisters or brothers to me. All am trying to say is that our hearts are very delicate and when we decide to let them out there to prey on every environment we will end up getting hurt. I admit we must have differences with each other, even fight with one another, but how we handle situations matters and the tongue is a really powerful weapon, whatever we utter is hardly erased in people’s minds especially if it thrusts through like a sharp blade.
Lets us all try to appreciate the people around us and know the boundaries of who we call friends lest you all start ranting like I am*smiles*. I am glad that all this has reduced me to less pretence and more wisdom, maybe the friends I call friends now may hurt me but at least I am content by the fact that I know I have them. Living a moment at a time. I know very few people can relate with me but that’s okay I hope I have inspired someone who was in the same shoes I was and still am in. for those with no friends don’t be in a hurry to get the so known close friends, they will just come, don’t be like the old me always trying to prove a point and look good in front of people.
One last thing I am glad I have acquaintances you know as they say ‘no man is an island’.