COMPROMISE

 Chinua Achebe quotes ‘Quality, quality, quality: never waver from it, even when you don’t see how you can afford to keep it up. When you compromise, you become a commodity and then you die’,   ‘Compromise, if not the spice of life, is its solidity. It is what makes nations great and marriages happy” quotes Ralph Emerson. I read somewhere that Compromise is never anything but an ignoble truce between the duty of a man and the terror of a coward.

There are a lot of theories behind the word compromise. In life we compromise a lot so that we try to have everything fall into place. Everything I write is all about experience. I have been in many friendships some which I did not feel as if though I fit in. At times I had friends because I had nothing better to do and being the social person I was, I would always try to fit in whatever category of people I mingled with.

There were times I got hurt and even humiliated but I always tried to compromise with situations so as to avoid drama and try as much as possible to have everything fall into place. Recently someone I really cared about began to distant himself from me maybe he got bored or saw as though I was a threat to his ‘potential’ girlfriends. I loved him yes, but it was not reciprocated to my side, the love. I tried as much as possible to always tag him posts on face book, sending him messages and all that, but as much as I did all that he did not bother to know how I was fairing on and it hurt especially because he knew I loved him and I would always ask to find out how he is doing, you know the caring me J.

It is funny how tables turn, this is someone I was friends with for many years but I came to realize I compromised with a lot of negative energy from him.  For me it was always, ‘I love him, and maybe one day it would actually be mutual.’  We termed ourselves as ‘besties’ and I did really love him. It was until recently that it hit me, COMPROMISE that is where I had put my hopes up in. 

There is an American proverb that says ‘Compromise makes a good umbrella but a poor roof’. Sad that reality hit me years later but better late than never, and I believe there is a reason as to why we go through some things in life.

We as human beings compromise with a lot of things, for example a lady or a gentleman who is in a relationship where he/she is maybe being battered or even cheated on, and yet this particular person has all the evidence of being treated like trash, we find that he/she will always try to compromise with the situation, by saying ‘Well he will change, she will change, I know he/she loves me and this is just but for a short time.’ 

I have seen relationships going down the drain just because of compromise, but some relationships actually work out because of compromise, but what good is it if you know there are doubts hanging over your head and you tell yourself that you can handle it. It is true people who compromise are cowards because they are afraid to face a situation and challenge themselves, or even scared what people will think of them if they get out of a ‘perfect’ relationship which everyone else was talking about,(you know the couple which single people look up to-‘as if’)

Another example is compromise in careers. I have been going through a lot of things career wise, always threatening and almost quitting my job like a million times, at times even telling myself that I will compromise with the situation as I looked for another job.  Remember my article on legacy, getting another job is an awesome thing, but what is the point of getting another job and yet you would not have accomplished anything in your current career.

 As much as our careers are going down the drain and bore us to bits and we would want to quit, we compromise with situations, but how do we compromise? Yes we are looking for better jobs but what about leaving a legacy that will motivate us, that even as we move to other careers we will not feel as though we wasted our time in our previous jobs.

Still on careers we try to compromise with bad treatment, say low payments, being over worked with no over time, maybe never getting any recognition for hard work, or even having done an awesome job and credit goes to another person. These are the things that really test how much we can take in.

 Different people handle things differently but what matters most is whether we break our valued principles if at all we have any. Gary Hirschberg quotes ‘The ‘morality of compromise’ sounds contradictory. Compromise is usually a sign of weakness, or an admission of defeat. Strong men don’t compromise, it is said, and PRINCIPLES should never be compromised.’

In as much as we compromise we should know what our purpose in life is. Once you know your purpose you should mentally mark a straight pathway to your achievement having no doubts and standing your ground. 

Compromise is always an easy way out of a challenge and one of the biggest liars to mankind because whenever we compromise we always ‘succeed’ forgetting that, that particular success is just for a short time, and with compromise there are always repercussions, just as H.Rap Brown quotes ‘Once you consent to some concession, you can never cancel it and put things back the way they were.’

I learn a lot of things as every day, and this time I have decided to try as much as possible not to compromise, and if need be, make sure that my principles are always intact. What is the point of compromising with situations and hurt instead? I love a good life and compromise will not be the barrier to my glory. Let it not also be the highway to your failure.

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising.-Arthur Bloch. Have a good one people.

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