MY HABIT DISCIPLINES ME
My habit my viral disease, my habit cultures my discipline.
My friends usually tease me that I have no social life, that I might end up like one of those career women who end up single ,maybe rich but only cats to share the joy with. I on the other hand think other wise, should I cultivate this culture of always hanging out, so that I can have a ‘social life’ intoxicate myself with a lot of fun and have all this mounting friends to always call whenever I am bored which in this case would be all the time, because hanging out would be my addiction?
I hate it when I don’t fulfill every thing in my schedule, I hate it when I don’t meet my goals, no matter how small they are, I hate to loose, who does? Change is good, and like Agege says in the book Aminata, ‘change is like rest’. Yes I do embrace it, but I loathe when it interferes with my schedule, call me uptight and wannabe career woman, but that’s just what it is. This past weekend I went out with a couple of friends, amazing ones, I had a good time, am not complaining, but the following morning I could not get myself to write, I was feeling tired and lazy, not blaming anyone for breaking my ‘boring schedule’ but writing to me is my life and anything that interferes with the syk to write under weighs my motivation and I keep beating myself with the ‘why’s and what if’.
My culture to do what I love best might be some illuminated notion to some people, but it is what crops to my discipline, my addiction that has become part of my life. There is time for everything, I know but what would our lives be without schedules rooted by habits? I hate being reeled because of my own doing, and not end up fulfilling my goals which in my fantasy/dream world is what will make me become who I want to be.
Planting a good habit creates a concentrated and crystallized effect, one thing that people in a changing world long for. Lesley Garner quotes ‘I’ve learned that the sense of order has to be found somewhere different from the ever-shifting surface of life’. We all have things we love to do, some of us are talented artists, musicians, writers, carpenters, teachers etc but we always have other things that sub- consciously matter to us unlike the ones that can build us, hence end up loosing focus on where we believe our glory lies. We in turn blame ourselves for not using our time well and blame those around us for playing a role in our derailment and we forget that the habits that we so valued are the ones that streamed to our downfall.
According to Desiderius Erasmus: a nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit.I believe that habits can be broken, by definition they are unconscious which means that we probably have them but we don’t know we’ve got them, but to change a habit you need motivation, replacing it with a good habit is a start. I never used to write every Saturday, I could not get myself to write anything just because I was addicted to movies, partying and hanging out and I could not find balance between all this things and my time to read, write or do the things that would build me to a better me, but now I find myself addicted to this art of writing and reading. I try by all means possible to bewitch negative habits that are clear to me contributing to my loss of focus, but am still learning each day, I fall yes, but am willing to change on a daily.
A small change in our habits can be a catalyst for a bigger change. That first step can be a catalyst for a bigger change. I believe that we do not need to be prisoners of our own behaviors. I am not perfect if anything i think i am a major screw up when it comes to making decisions, failing, and the stupid mistakes i make everyday, but hey we all have second chances right?
Like Galileo who was enforced by the inquisition to recant his belief that the earth moved round the sun and yet wrote ‘Still it Moves’ you will learn what your core beliefs are and create a new habit that will nurture discipline. Create a habit, if it moulds you stick to it, learn to balance all the things that you love to do, then you will find ultimate peace.