Having a mother is the culmination of biological destiny, social and spiritual purpose. As I write this am glancing at a text my mother sent me (her trying to be cool and all) ‘do you agree? @-4years (my mum can do anything) 8 years (my mum knows a lot! A whole lot, 12years (my mum does not really know everything) 14 years (mum does not know much) 16 (mum is old fashioned) 18 years (that old woman! she is way out of date) 25 years (well she might know a little bit about some things, 35 years (before we decide lets get mum’s opinion, 45 years (wonder what mum would have thought about it) 65 years (wish I could talk it over with mum).
When I was in my teenage years, my mother and I hardly got along, I had some serious adolescent issues, thinking that I am a ‘miss independent’, I did not want to seek advice from her or even be open with her, I was always talking to my dad, because for some reason I thought he would understand me better ‘daddy’s girl’. As I grew up I came to realize that my mother was the only person in this world who would give me a million second chances whenever I went wrong, she would always ensure that I lacked nothing, and in as much as I was a stubborn teenager, this did not limit her from being who she was.
I remember when we were growing up, we had some major financial constraints, mother tried all her best to conceal them from us, but me being a ‘mjuaji’ I would notice that some things were off. One Christmas my parents were so broke, and I could see ‘mum’ hustling to at least try to give us a wonderful Christmas, she went out of her way to borrow money for us to eat a good meal. I will never forget what she cooked, chicken and ‘pilau’. I knew that she had gone out of her way to get money from all sources she could access, and during that day she was so jovial, acting like everything was okay.
No words can describe how much I love her, no presents can make up for all the years she was there for us and for who she still is today. ‘Mum’ is the backbone in our family, she always knows how to fix things, and at times I am amazed by her. To my friends she is a mother, always trying to be a stand up comedian, and a woman who knows all the ‘dot com’ entertainment vibe. She easily fits in my age group, most of the time insisting on taking me and my friends out for picnics, just for the fun of it.
I have girlfriends who have taught me how to groom myself and at times how to cook, but the best classes I got were from my mother. I remember when I was 10 years I already knew how to bake a cake and cook meals. It annoyed me to be in the kitchen instead of outside playing with my friends. I now look back and realize how those small moments I spent in the kitchen with her have really helped me at my age. Still as ‘kids’ we lived in a house that did not have electricity, candles worked perfectly for us, and what up to today mesmerizes me, was the fact that mum would always gather us in the living room with at least two candles and read ‘story time in Africa’ she would then tell us the moral teachings of the story, and she made sure we would pray after that, with everyone having turns all had days to pray. She would teach us the simplest of prayers, I remember she used to remind us how prayer was important to us, and it then became a culture that was instilled in us.
Being the comic and entertainer she is, every Sunday she ensured that we had a song to perform in church, gosh, I now think about it and I laugh about the embarrassing Sunday mornings we would parade ourselves in church, all the siblings, and tunelessly sing a couple of songs, ha-ha. I was a very shady dresser , I had no idea on how to mix and match clothes, but ‘mum’ would always be there to show me which shoes would match with what. I think she did take care of how we dressed, than she did for herself. Now that we are all grown up, and we sit reminding ourselves about our childhood I realize I wouldn’t be who I am if it were not for her. I love my mother so much, I would never trade anything for her, to have someone go out of their way for our well being, to always have that constant person to count on, now that is what I can a blessing. Her disciplining us is what made us be who we are although at times as children we would gang up and decide not to cry whenever she beat us so that we can show her that we are not feeling pain, and no it did not work.
Mothers don’t necessarily have to be biological, no, anyone who goes out of their way to give you that constant assurance that everything is okay, anyone who is willing to sacrifice their time to teach us on what is right, with no malice, someone who puts themselves last, to cater for your needs, now that is a mother.
My future keeps re writing itself, I have no definite day to celebrate her in my life, everyday that I see her smile hear her voice, even it we are arguing, everyday that I see her trying to sound cool with us, ha-ha now those are the days I celebrate her, EVERYDAY. I couldn’t ask for a better blessing, no, the rest falls through…
To all the mothers out there just know that you shift everything in our lives to an axis that aligns itself to positivity and amazing blessings, your relationship with us creates a whole new world, one that is magical, our world reforms, the patience that you carry and the burdens you weigh for us, no other blessing would God have granted us, happy forever everyday mother’s day (if this makes sense)