Growing up I loved going for funkies (a term we used to refer to youth social events) being an adolescent and with my hormones getting the better part of me, I loved getting attention from boys, especially if they approached me, and threw a couple of lines of how pretty I was, or how they loved my figure eight (the hips that were yet to show),how they thought I was fun, how they would want to come to my hood sometime-you know the kind of words that made me feel like a princess ,give me a million butterflies in my stomach and always have endless stories to tell my friends about the prince charming! Oh good old days, nowadays social media has become the new funkie where most of us are housed in the unit of hypocrisy and well photo shopped avatars and profile pictures, where you can fish or cut bait depending on whose profile appeals the most. It reminds me of the bystanders who busy whistle when they see a lady with a well packaged rackor a Kim Kardashian behind, and never bother with ladies who look somewhat shabby in their opinion; yes that’s the new hang out joint for most of us. 
There is never a merge of error, with profiles such as ‘Ambitious, determined, self driven caring and loving I mean for crying out loud this clearly spells out ‘Yo dude/chick am what you are looking for, check out my picture and profile!!’ Okay before you start sneering, hold it… I have no issue with well decorated profiles and amazing photos, I have one too I mean, check mine out MY PROFILE cool huh? Anyway I just think that we take it over board, kind of trying to score a Romantic Courtship which in turn becomes a well packaged shot gun, what does she mean you ask?
THE ONE NIGHT STAND
It all starts with, ‘I love your TL (time line) wow your picture is amazing, hey check DM or inbox (Direct Message). Now here is where the Shakespeare quotes are used, not in the ‘thee thou’ terms, just plain normal words weaved into making you feel like the only charm in the world. Here everyone stays positive and makes connection by tabling all their hobbies, likes and dislikes that they have, and trust is developed and phone numbers are exchanged, it is usually very private-tryst. Piece of cake!  Every time while chatting we project an illusion of progress, and like it or not, that’s how ‘online relationships’ are developed, and what remains is a ‘hook up’ where we succumb to the comforting fantasy of our chatting prince charming. In the hope of not screwing things up and having a desolate outcome with an aim of achieving a stable ‘relationship’ like the dream romantic life we drool over in soap opera’s  we pimp ourselves into bringing out that social media persona that we portray to everyone.  
Before we all jumped into being social media gurus especially twitter, it was termed as an indigenous population of celebrities, and since many people claim that twitter hardly has fake users or ‘criminals’ it has become easy to trust it, a colony of perfect beings is nurtured and with the trust it creates an impulse that impels human beings to want a sense of being loved, I mean to even go for funkiesyou must get a crowd from the various social media sites, socialization has been buried from human contact to online groupies.  Back to the romantic dates… meeting up with our ‘online lovers’ is usually moved by a combination of reason, fear and basically mixed feelings, and the hook up naturally sets an the elephant in the room where we have a well laid table with various foreign dishes, that some of us must have looked up on Google so as to be up to date with the current ‘cool’ trends of food. Some dates end up well, others well…that particular date would be the last one, one of the main reasons being, ‘you are not as cool as that person I talk to on twitter/face book’, the cloud parts and the end game becomes clear…you are not as compatible as you both seemed to be in the internet. The problem with us is that we have so much courage when we are online, and we tend to be aggressive about issues; the dream dates and spouses for everyone, but when human contact is involved, we tend to shy from that persona we portrayed on twitter/face book. We are either a bunch or boring people or simply not as modest as we brought out in our profiles ‘simple, humble and down to earth.’ If the first blind date goes well, then maybe we were real about ourselves, and a re-match is arranged, maybe our dates would want an affirmation that maybe just maybe you deserve another date, say cooked lunch or dinner. 
 We have a way with our words, and when it comes to flirting, everyone in twitter/face book is a pro at it; you would even question the need for whore houses, because social media is the new whore house, (Only that we get to pick ‘decent’ partners-at least that’s what we have made it to be) which privileges a one night stand with loose strings attached. I have heard my friends say, we met on twitter; we went for a date but maaayyyne the sex ah ah!! Nimesare (to hell with it). I ask why put your self through that torture? Hear me out, I have had my share of twitter dates, some good, others oh well, I just don’t want to talk about them, but the multi persona thingy is what ruins all the relationships I had busy cultivated via social media because even with the good shamba i till, I forget that weeds need to be pruned both from me and my date, but instead I bring out a well irrigated and chemically soaked farm products…my loss!! 
LOSING THE TOUCH
Someone once told me that bloggers are people who have no courage to heckle their opinions publicly so they have found a new platform called the internet where they hide behind their polished grammar and big words. How true that is, be the judge! But in my opinion I would say that the above definition would suit our so known suitors on twitter/face book… our fantasy lovers caged behind the internet.

The whole charade still packs one hell of a kick, I love to chat, I love to be informed and social media has become the new horn blower to our day to day life happenings, but it has contributed to us losing the touch of socialization because we bring out personalities that hardly exist, oh wait they do…only in the movies!!

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