|To everything there is a season!|
To everything there is a season, I never thought 2012 would come to an end, not because I wasn’t having a good time but because I have learnt a lot this year. I have had my screw ups, my moments of happiness, moments of success, heart breaks and moments that were just moments- nothing special about them. But there is something that stands out in me this year… I have GROWN UP!!
Something in all of us longs for gentle progress and we grow desperate to see signs of change and at times we push too hard to get out of a comfort zone, to have a sense of exhilaration. When I began the year I never thought that it would end like this, I never knew that I would get to be who I am right now. Growing up might sound cliché and a bit out of context because a 26 year old lady should not be in a phase of growing up or consider herself grown up, she should already be grown up right? I began writing when I was a young girl, at the age of 5 years when the best way to ask for shoes or money for snacks from my father was through drafting a small note and leaving it next to the cup which he would use to take tea at the living room. I grew up not knowing the best way to communicate other than that of ink and paper. In my adolescent years I was a pro when it came to expressing myself through letters to the opposite sex , but the sad thing was I drafted way too long letters filled with jargons which Mr. Oluoch (my primary school English teacher) insisted we use in our writing and verbal communication. I guess that is why I hardly got replies, so I had to nurture my speaking skills and yes I sure did nurture them and went over board and many people considered me as a cartoon in high school always the one with something to say. This went through into my undergraduate years and my talkative nature is what many people identify me with.
The years 2010 and 2011 were, for lack of a better term one of my ‘worst’ years, searching myself in all the wrong places. See this is the time I was busy searching for a job that would get me quick money. I always worried about money, who doesn’t? Most of my peers were in good jobs, they had already moved out of their parent’s homes and enjoying what many would consider as the ‘independent’ life. I was just there, with my peanut salary spending it all in upgrading my lifestyle; and no I did not invest any of it. I needed to match up with the trends of partying, dress up and getting me a man who would love the girl with the lavish lifestyle but who still lived at home and had no investments. I was lost!! In the two years I hardly wrote any articles other than production scripts which were required of me by my employers so it was inevitable to escape the obvious, but my love for writing was lost in between my search for a ‘good’ life one that would make me fit in as a ‘rolled’ with my peers!! Again I was lost!
Everyone started to disappear from my life, some got married, others moved to far places and I could not sustain my ‘wannabe’ personality. I had to find solace, so I decided to go and utilize my love for singing-yes I can sing; at least I think I can, I decided to work with one of the best producers Chris Adwar. I did a song yes, but I did not have the feel for it, I wanted to become famous, I wanted to have money and be like my peers. I remember Chris asking me ‘Corrie why do you want to sing?’ My brilliance in having answers to everything did not help me, because I had no answer to the question, yes I had the passion to sing but I did not have the vision for it. I did the song in a hurry and I was quick to dish it out to FM stations, but it never got the light and day to be heard. The production was awesome but I did not put any effort to the vocals, adlibs or harmony. So I decided to bank my music career for another day.
In 2011 I decided that I needed to be serious with my career as a reporter and TV producer, no matter how small the salary digits were, I decided I should work to get skills especially because my undergraduate degree was Education – English/Literature and History. I had a couple of notes in my face book account and many people kept telling me, ‘Keep writing we love your stuff’ I got motivated and decided to have a blog where I could post my articles. I never thought I would grow into being a lover of current affairs, African Literature, lifestyle and fiction, but I did. The year 2012 was my turning point, I became engrossed in the things that mattered to me, yes I was in TV production but writing became an addiction.
One thing that gave me a wider audience was the Achievers section and I really appreciate the first ten media personalities who accepted to be interviewed by this new young wannabe ‘Buzz’ columnists on ‘celeb’ vibe. I got a niche but I had to grow. My interest in what was happening to Kenya and its surrounding countries helped me be a committed and avid reader, this time I wrote articles not because I wanted to get a big audience but because I loved to write. Yes I grew! Writers such as Jackson Biko and Charles Onyango-Obbo played part in my growth because they were not hesitant to correct me. Critic readers who shoved negative comments my way also helped me grow as a writer. People who loved my work contributed highly to making me a better writer too.
Growth in 2012 has not only been in writing, it has also been in my way of life.
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I dared to be different-I cared about my peanut salary, not because I wanted to upgrade my life but simply because I wanted to measure up to my peers, now it really does not matter if I measure up or not, because I have established what I want to be in life. We are all in a quest to make our lives better so as to keep up with the changing lifestyle trends but we forget that the change we want is not focused on those around us but is focused on who we want to be in the future. We all have goals and objectives but we settle for the easy way out, easy cash-which is good, but is what we are doing going to sustain us into our future? Don’t be less that what your ‘to do list’ entails of you, don’t be greedy, dare to be different in 2013.
Remove the sinner in you that caught you incarcerated-we are imprisoned by things that are unworthy. In my case I wanted to be a famous musician-don’t laugh-maybe if I put the energy and zeal that I put in the idea of being popular into my singing, maybe just maybe, I would be giving Atemi and Neema a run for their money (too much?) okay maybe not, but at least I would be somewhere right? Fame, money and lavish lifestyle that is what most young people want, no one wants to work hard, we have no niche we are imprisoned by the self actualization need and that is why some of us are in a gold rush to get into politics, not to reform this country but to satisfy the need of being ‘there’ where is there? What happens when ‘there’ ceases to become a comfort zone, what happens if we get ‘there’ is there another ‘there’? As we get into 2013 let us not have misplaced priorities, let’s unlock the cuffs and be go getters who have a vision.
Procrastination- Chinua Achebe quoted ‘Procrastination is a lazy man’s apology.’ I am a victim of procrastination. I have goals and objectives but I hardly fulfill them, because I always find something else unnecessary to do and leave out what matters with the idea that I will attend to it. This has been my key derailment in meeting my goals, but in the past six months I have learnt that nothing good comes easy and for me to be the best I have to cut through my laziness and get out of my comfort zone to achieve the best.
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My time in 2012, I have grown up and I would not have done this on my own, I changed my circle of friends, not because they were bad people but because I needed to live in my future not in my past. Living in my future simply means that I needed to grow with people who were beneficial to me, career wise and socially. We need to grow up if we need to see the fruits of our labour. We need to grow up if we need to invest in the lives that we dream of. I am not where I want to be, not even near to what I want to be but I am making a progress in reaching where I want to be. It doesn’t matter if at times I feel like I am moving so slow, what matters is that I know someday I will get ‘there’ and I will not stop ‘there’, because with success there are no stops, just brakes and accelerations!!
As we end the year I have come up with three quotes which I hope will be of an impact to you
It is good to be a jack of all trades but it is healthy to be an established blacksmith on one trade.
Your first success story should be the beginning to challenging yourself to your next success story
Never let compromise under weigh your level of happiness.
Thank you for the support, for sharing out my articles, for critiquing them and above all for simply being readers, you have made me what I am. The year 2013 will be of streamed blessings, I believe that it shall be so in your lives and in my life. One of the things I plan to do is to grow as a writer, make sure that my 2012 burdens are left in 2012, love more, get new recipes to learn how to cook new types of foods and buy a wrist watch, why? I have always wanted to have one 🙂 .
Have a prosperous 2013!!!! See you next year!
|Do not let your 2012 burdens get into 2013!! Have a good one!|