By Sally Jirongo
She is a classy lady, a foodie, loves to dance and loves to read. Her sarcasm in the literature she shares is hilarious. This particular piece just reminds me of the ‘ratchetness’ that has become of some ladies. Her name is Sally Jirongo, and today she is a guest writer in my blog.
Lady: a woman of refinement especially when viewed as dignified or well mannered.
No matter what dictionary you use a lady is a woman with a sense of propriety, well mannered, well behaved and so on and so forth. In African culture there are particular ways a lady is meant to behave, talk and be. While many of them are Neanderthal and too conservative for my liking many are also guidelines on appreciating the strength that comes with being a woman , the respect that you should be afforded by fellow women and men, the steel that builds the essence of womanhood. Unfortunately these guidelines have been shunned and many forgotten.
I was walking through the streets of Nairobi recently and I was at a loss, and have been ever since as I walk the streets a lot more frequently than I used to. It is as though women suddenly morphed into those barmaids found at popular nyama choma joints, the kind that shout your order as you give it word for word from where your seated. The shame of where we have reached as the feminine gender of humanity, the way women walk, what they wear, how they laugh, speak, act is more than just bad it is ghastly, and I mean that in the dictionary sense of the word.
Women will wear their see though chiffon tops and brightly colored bras and while I am all for personal style and believe it should be appreciated we are not the only people on those streets, have a little consideration for the mothers, fathers, grandfathers, grandmothers, children and pastors who walk the same streets as you do. We throw fits when men sag and we can see their underwear or adjust their ‘eggplants’ in public but you feel okay walking around showing every banker, makanga, butcher, shoe shiner and lawyer your neon pink bra. Underwear is to be worn under your clothes that’s why it’s called UNDERwear.
There are ways you can be being sexy without showing all that your mother gave you and bought you-bras- to the public. The line between sexy and trashy has been crossed and we no longer have women trying to be sexy they are all trying to out-trash each other.
Sexy women have a sense of mystery about them and that mystery begins with a man wondering what you have underneath that not-see-through blouse. Not seeing everything you have on display while all his friends appreciate the same thing, as well as the waiter and security guard oh and let’s not forget the newspaper vendor we passed on the way here. I mean seriously, why not just post pictures of your half clothed self on the internet…oh wait you already do. Then you wonder why your man talks to you like they do, or why you don’t have a man or why you don’t get men to commit to you or why your man steps out on you. Its cause he judged you when he saw how easy it is for you to put yourself on display for the world and gave you exactly what you show you are looking for. Mystery is a big part of being sexy, you don’t have to be loud, sometimes subtlety will drive them crazy.
Now that you are clothed and feel the need to celebrate something or other with your girlfriends and you decide to go to that new restaurant that everyone is talking about in town…then you talk with food in your mouth, do not use the cutlery provided…ksks the waiter to get his attention…I believe you catch my drift. Take small bites of food; don’t fill your mouth to the brim until you can’t even chew it without tearing. Then someone cracks a joke and you laugh all wide mouthed for all to see what a good job your grinders did to that grilled chicken in mushroom sauce…yuck. Use your cutlery you are not an animal…unless you are evolving backwards then by all means climb the nearest tree and battle for your food then eat it while you look suspiciously at those other hungry animals that pose an actual threat to your meal, just do it far from polite society please. You can have your elbows on the table but not when you are eating, and ask me to pass the salt and pepper don’t reach over my plate….or I will slap you and your bad manners all the way to infinity.
Whatever happened to visiting someone with a little something for them milk, a cake, flowers, sugar anything.
Nowadays ladies just show up at a friend’s or a relations house empty handed without even the slightest bit of shame. And then you continue to eat their food, drink their beverages, use the facilities in their house then leave with a thanks…not thank you for this, that and the other, I really appreciate you having me over just thanks… thanks?!! Really? Seriously? Shameless much??!
All I’m saying is ladies let us get back to being ladies, there’s nothing wrong with being a woman, there’s nothing wrong with being a clothed well mannered woman. You’ll be surprised the amount of respect you will garner because you chose to embrace the work that comes with being the fairer gender, because you chose to be the difference among a throng of mediocre. Let’s bring back the beauty that is there with being a lady.
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@sallyjirongo on twitter(she is such a newbie on twitter) also check out her articles in the Prestige Magazine.