For a 29 year old, what defines you is success, dating, marriage or better yet kids. Because they say that once you hit the big 3-0 it will be difficult to get kids. Medically-I have been told this so many times. Maybe I should start caring.
At least that’s what the society tells you. Recently I met with a friend of my dad in Nakumatt;
‘Mwende how are you?
‘How is work?
‘Where do you work this days?’ -You would always think when someone asks how work is, they actually know where you work, ohh well.
I’m in Public Relations. Doing gigs here and there.
‘So are you married?
Well I saw this coming.
No I am not.
‘Do you have any kids?’
No i do not.
‘Muda hauishi wa kupata mtoto?’ (Isn’t time for getting a kid running out?)
Wait! Hold up! What I’m I supposed to say here? I just stared at him …trying to fake a smile but I couldn’t.
God Speed. That is all i could say.
‘Haya say hi to mum and dad for me.’
This is just but an example of the many conversations I have with people…especially those who have not seen me for a while.
Others ask if i have moved out of my parents house and if so, if i live with a man smh; others ask if there is a man in my life who they should start praying for. (You should meet some of my mums friends).
I get the obsession with marriage and dating and having kids, especially for a 29 year old. I want to one day get married and have kids.
I want to walk down the aisle while Tenth Avenue North’s Beloved is playing in the background.
I want my father to hold my right hand and my mother the left as they walk towards the church minister and later hand me over to my man. I want to spend late nights catching up on NBA with my man, or playing some word game. Hell I want to steal his books from his library and read them in the toilet whenever he craves for some literature.
I want all this. The silly. The scary. The challenges. The success. I want.
However i can not stop everything in my world to plan for a wedding/marriage in my head because the society does not think its ‘right’ for a 29 year old to chase paper and not have a man or kids to add to her medical cover beneficiaries.
I turn 30 in September. Is it scary? Yes. I always thought growing up was all about getting money, travelling and just having fun with family and friends.
BUT it’s responsibilities and responsibilities. Someone once asked, ‘How can you claim to have responsibilities yet you are single and have no kids?’
I thought of the arrogance in such utterance but i chose not to delve into that argument. Do responsibilities come with a command of children and spouses?
‘You are too aggressive. Use that energy to look for a husband, get a boyfriend and make him your husband!’ This is something you would hear in this century.
A friend who is married once told me;
‘Corrie you are too choosy with men. You know its good that you are hardworking and growing into your career but you will scare men away!’
I laughed and said. ‘Please let them run I’m sure there are women who will chase them, but that race is just not for me.’
Why would a man be intimidated by a woman who is trying to do her best so as to make her now-and future life better if not best?
Isn’t that supposed to be impressive? Or a plus of some sort to a courtship thing? If you are lazy, you can’t get a man, if you are hardworking, apparently you will scare the man away.
Does it get lonely? Yes it does? Will that prompt me to chase love so as to fill this gap no. God speed.
See lately i have learnt so much about God’s will. It’s the best. In His best timing.
Someone else once told me(yes i know i need to get rid of such people in my life), that I am not ‘out there?’ So i wondered whether I should go and stand outside Thika Road Mall with a huge sign saying ‘SINGLE’.
Or whether i should consistently frequent clubs so that i can get the man of my dreams. Natives here i come!
‘Corrie you go for so many networking events. Don’t you get potential boyfriends and husbands?’
Okay let me just make this clear, I go for business events to network so that i shape my career. If I do meet someone who is interested in dating me well and good; if not, well and good too.
Us girls always get carried away the moment a guy asks us out, and we suddenly picture how our babies will look like, where we will live the type of tissue we will be buy and of course debate on the best toothpaste. All these thoughts in one date. Well I used to be like that until I learnt of God’s will. So all I do is live and let be. Desperation will lead to a short term relationship and long term strings of heartbreaks.
It is never that serious.
Doctor friends please explain to me the birth cycle and age limit of getting children. Amakove please break it down for me.
Then again you want a good man/woman do you have the qualities of the man/woman you want? I hardly find people who write ‘lazy’ in their prayer requests for a man/woman.
I’m Corrie. I am beautiful. I have a couple of pimples on my forehead. I am hardworking. I’m 29 turning 30 this year. Sometimes I am a lady, most times I am me.
This 29 and a HALF year old chooses to do her! Do you! God Speed!