I’m not writing because I feel inspired to write tonight. No. I just feel like there are things I have learnt in my three decades here on earth that would be worth sharing to my unborn kids.
I don’t know if God will bless me with kids. But I believe in His promises and believe He has the best in store for me. So if you are reading this son and daughter then God’s promise has come true. If not then the kids of this world will get to pick something from my life.
Dear Son and Daughter,
Hi. Okay the thought of having kids just made my heart skip a bit. By the time you are reading this, probably blogs will be so outdated and if the webs would occupy dust and cobwebs then likely that’s what will happen to this blog. I hope the literature on such platforms becomes like a scroll you would hunt to get some wealth of knowledge.
So I am turning 30. They call it third floor. Scary to believe that I have grown to this age. Brave to see what the world holds for me. Challenged to be a better woman.
I don’t feel old. Not yet. I feel like life has just begun for me. The past three years of my life have been rough but a blessing too.
There are five things that have become such a priority for me. God. Family. Friendship. Career. Service.
At some point I battled with my Christianity. I was fighting with so many social demons. Fighting with this God who was not blessing me. My friends at the time were doing so great and I admired how independent one could be. I hated my life.
I think everything has it’s own pace. I have been through a lot of shit. Shit that made me feel like I did not belong to this world. That I needed to just dig a hole and go. This fight with my creator went on and on but everytime I pulled away there was always a rope pulling me back. Not a blessing just a feeling that I could not explain.
Let me not bore you with this journey, but see why God comes first in my list of priorities is not because I am saved or perfect or anything of the sort (I am the complete opposite *I think*… But He is my priority because in Him I found hope.
I bet now that you are reading this, you probably understand this whole Christianity thing…and I really hope that I have brought you up to be one. Because that’s the foundation of my everything…my rough paths, torn streets and golden gates.
I’m the least expected person to write on spiritual matters, but my prayer is that I bring you up in the way your grandmother brought me up…and even better.I don’t know if this makes sense to you…i hope it does.
Family. Your grandmother and I never got along well when I was an adolescent. Oh how we fought. She would beat me up in front of other kids. Living under a roof that had two teachers, it was inevitable to become disciplined. Either by beating or beating. But that’s not the point.
I’m just from having dinner with grandma,grandpa, your aunties and uncle. It’s something we do often but today was different. Me turning 30 is something quite emotional for all of us. For us to be where we are right now in life. Grandpa today just told us how much he sacrificed to put us in school. I’m here because this man worked for us. And I am doing the same for you.
I have come to learn that family is a unit that needs to stick together all the time. We have our differences but at the end of the day we stand together. When shit hits the fan family will always stand with you. That’s what my family nurtured me to believe in. That’s what has kept me going. We cry together. Laugh together. And I hope that’s the same thing that will be for us.
Friendship. Ha. Now here is where compromise comes in and reality of who we are starts to crop in. You know the passage, show me your friends and I will tell you who you are? Yes. Listen, you will not get the perfect friends immediately. In fact you might battle with betrayal. Heartbreaks. But you will overcome them. I have been betrayed by the closest of those I termed as friends. I have been heartbroken by those i thought I was falling in love with.
But you know what, you eventually move on. Life does not end there. You will dust yourself up and move on. I’m a strong woman. I cry a lot yes. But the strength in my genes will be the same strength in your genes. Don’t be a slave of emotions. Or a servant of hopelessness. No. Allow yourself to hurt and make the bold move to move on. Friends come and go…but those who stay are worth the while.
As I write this it is my prayer that the friends I have now will still be the same ones who will be with me as you read this. If not-then I guess when life gives us lemons we take a tequila shot…and continue sipping whisky or tea depending on what I will be drinking then.
Career. You better work your ass off. Nobody will hand you success. You must toil for it. Today I kept thinking of what I have gone through to get here.I have been fired once. I thought this would be the end of my life…but aggressive people go places. Don’t be scared to be confident. Don’t be scared to fail. Don’t apologise for being successful. Life is a cocktail of failures and achievements. Yes you will cry. You will make mistakes. But you will be fine.
The secret? Just don’t stop. Don’t be scared to take vacations on your own. You earned it. There were times I wished I could pay for just a dinner or lunch or even get money to do shopping for grandpa and grandma. I longed for it so bad that it became my motivation to work hard. Family was my motivator. To be a better person for them. And of course I realised that that which scares us; that which we admire and think we can’t get it, is just at the palm of our hands. We just need to cling to it by working hard.
Son this is for you. The life I live right now is what many picture as a man’s world. Maybe as you read this things will have changed. But my prayer is that I raise a man who looks beyond the skirt factor. A man who believes in equality.
Daughter. I pray that I raise a woman who if empowered does not look down on the man. A proverbs 31 kind of woman. A woman who acknowledges the gender equality space but does not use this to step on a man…but instead treats him as her peer.
Service. Don’t live this life aiming to just fulfill your life and to bless your family. Seek to serve the society and make it a better place for my grandkids and their kids. You would be surprised at how many volunteer programs I am in and I still get time to read books and watch movies.
If you want something to work out you make it work out. Don’t live this world and leave it without making it a better place. Mentor someone. Bless someone. Love those who feel that they can never be loved. Service is not easy because it comes from the heart, and matters of the heart are not easy-they are based on priorities.
I hope I raise you to see beyond your lives, and see the lives of those who need help. We all have a calling. Mine is to walk with girls here in Kenya and I hope that as I write this I have walked with girls across the globe. Fought and won for the rights of women.Mentored as many as possible. I bet you will get a calling too. Listen carefully to it and serve even at the youngest of age. Don’t wait to do this when you are 30 years.
So 30. I don’t know what’s in store for me. What I know is I thank God I am 30 now…at a time when He is blessing me even when I don’t think I deserve it. I know this 30 will come with it’s challenges. It’s tears. It’s heartbreaks and above all it’s blessings.
I have braced for the best. I hope 30 years from now when I read this I will look back and say that I have been molded into a woman of character and grace.
30 I welcome you.